Feeling Defeated

Today I am defeated and surrender one more love to Ankylosing Spondylitis.

I love flowers, plants, and the outside but having AS makes it difficult to keep up.

Some died because I am to fatigued to water them during the summer.

Some died because of Hurricane Harvey and now a snowstorm okay so one inch of snow isn't a snowstorm but try telling a Texan that!  The snow claimed a lot of casualties in my yard.

I hate whenever a plant dies in my care, a lot of people tell me how silly I am but it's a living thing or at least it was until it came to be in my care. I still feel guilty nonetheless.

So today I admit defeat and will no longer have living plants in my yard, well only those who have managed to survive so far and will do my best to care for them.

I love plants and flowers and I love being surrounded by them, especially outside.

Last year I remodeled my home and put my stamp on it. It was the first time in my life to have a home reflect the person who lives inside of me.

So I decided to plant artificial flowers, something that was soft and vibrant. I found these little beauties. I think for artificial flowers they look amazing. They really look so beautiful when driving down the street. They add so much color and beauty and will never die, and that is what I like the most.

Ankylosing Spondylitis has changed so many aspects of my life that I have had to learn to find a new way to replace the old way.

Today I am grateful that I have always found ways to replace that I have lost with something that has given me as much happiness as before. For me personally as a person with AS this is the hardest thing to deal with, the small losses