Today I spent an hour putting all the post from My Garden of Gratitude in draft. I felt my heart had been put in a blender hit button... blades destroy..... button stop... Repeat.
The emotions were hell. But to be honest I thought man that woman was so naive! She had no idea what hell the next few years would bring.
Every day I lost a little bit of myself and the will to live with it. The feelings of not wanting to live would stay with me every single day for years to come. Sometime last month. Something shifted inside me, and I slowly began wanting to feel like Cookie again. Who am I kidding, I just wanted to FEEL again.
I came across this song yesterday and I have a small personal connection with these amazing people.
She has experienced so many wonderful and not so wonderful life lessons and the passion and courage this small young girl has. It is beautiful to watch, so inspiring.
I listened to it over and over.
Sometime while listening to it, her words hit me deep in my soul like an arrow. Perfectly named.
Thank you, Arrow, and Lennon, for this beautiful song, your words... I want to bring on a new year... I want to scream at these wasted feelings, it's time to start out a whole new A game, I need to call this a new beginning...
I've decided I would make my original blog My Garden of Gratitude public again. I will add the beautiful memories one at a time and work on a new beginning. Feeling gratitude for wonderful moments is easy, but I am learning to be grateful for the memories that almost destroyed me as well.
Today I am so grateful for courageous young girls and for mothers who love them enough to let them fly....
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