I Am Too

I'm always telling the A.S. community you are worth whatever it takes to have a happier and healthier life. Period. 

It has been something I've said over and over, but never really believed it for the person looking back at me in the mirror.

Yesterday was a day from hell and I was stuck in the middle by no choice of mine.

It was a difficult situation, where people would end up getting confused, mad and hurt, me included. Especially hurt.

While trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation, I also decided to do what I thought was best for me. 

Sometimes the AS community has been a living hell for me but thankfully it has also been the greatest place to call home. I have found so many wonderful people and experienced some of the happiest moments of my life with them. This community gave me the courage to believe in myself and I am slowly learning that being me is enough.

But I'm mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. I feel broken, honestly. I have shattered into a million little pieces of a broken heart. 

I have felt this way for a very long time.

I feel like those little pieces of me are scattered and floating all over the universe. Lost, never found again.

Today I decided to grab that little piece of me I've been struggling to hold on to and run.....

I feel the only way I'm going to survive is by putting  myself first, at least for the time being.

For how long? I do not know.

But for today I must believe I am worth it too. Just like I keep telling all of you...

Remember to be kind to yourself while you're being kind to others.

Today I am grateful to those of you who reminded me that I'm worth whatever it takes to be happier and healthier even if it doesn’t include you for now.