Feel Broken

I feel broken…

There are times when I feel that if I looked in the mirror, I would look like a jigsaw puzzle.

I wish I could feel complete, but I don’t.

Some of it is my fault, some of it is my family and friends fault, and you must include society into the mixture to.

Everyone, myself included tries to fit me into this perfect little box.

I never knew how black and white, right and wrong the world really was until diagnosed with an Invisible disease.

You are either healthy or sick.

You are either visible or invisible.

You are either employable or unemployable.

You are either abled or disabled.

You are either a negative or positive person.

You are either optimistic or pessimistic.

You are either hopeful or hopeless.

You are either lazy or athletic.

You are either worthy or unworthy.

The truth of the matter at least for me, is I am all the above.

I am a person who has an invisible disease that lives in a visible world that no matter what, I am still just a shadow.

Those in my life that are healthy view me as sick.

Those in my life who are sicker than me view me as healthy.

The doctors in my life see my disease as invisible because not all my symptoms are visible.

The pharmaceutical industry views my disease a

I am not sure where I am going with this but I am going to just let my heart and soul ramble on.

I feel broken….

When I look in the mirror I am always a little surprised that I don’t look on the outside as I do on the inside.

I am sitting here trying to find the words to express what that sentence means…

The reflection I feel that should be looking back at me would be me in a jigsaw puzzle form.