I Wonder

I sit by the window and watch the world go by
I often wonder can they see me when I cry?

I look at the phone hanging on the wall
Wondering why they no longer call.

I wonder what people see when they look at me
The diseased-riddled person or who I want to be?

I wonder what people would say if they knew
I often pray at night to no longer be with you.

It isn’t I'm not grateful for each day that I get
It’s living with chronic pain that I want to forget.

The future I am facing fills me with fright
and pain consumes me all through the night.

They say to be strong, take each day as it comes
They can't understand where I am coming from.

I try to be the person you always need me to be
but rarely do I feel that you do that for me.

I wonder if you knew the truth hidden behind this smile
if you'd have the courage to live in my body for a while?

I want the same things as everyone else does to
that society values me the same way they do you.

I wonder do you know that my pain will never cease
Until the day you say to me, may you rest in peace.