I woke up filled with so much gratitude and appreciation for everyone that made the greatest night of my family's life possible.
It wasn't a dream!
We really did go to the Imagine Dragons concert and we honestly did meet them!
It was freaking amazing!
But....
I was filled with What If's and a sense of urgency I couldn't make sense of until....
Late during the day I received a desperate call and I realized my feeling was linked to what they were going through...
This is the post I shared the same time they were saying goodbye...
This message is to you, yes you.... you know who you are. What if you stopped and paused for a moment, what if you reached out to someone, what if you decided to give tomorrow a chance? What if? What if the struggle was worth the end result? What if the best was yet to come? What if? I can't tell you how many times people tell me you have no idea, but what if I did? What if I told you that I did, what if I told you I had written that letter to my family? What if I told you I was right where you are not once but twice? What if? What if I told you I didn't have some epiphany or change of heart? What if? What if I told you I was angry and bitter because I was here? What if? What if I told you I had gotten to such a darkness that the darkness was the only light I had? What if? This year especially has been the most rewarding of my life, such a personal triumph that many can't begin to understand but you do. What if I told you I was blessed with doing an interview with Dan Reynolds for This AS Life, live. What if I told you that I was blessed to go to Las Vegas with my daughter? What if I told you I got the honor of being on the Spondylitis Plus Cover with Dan Reynolds? What if I told you I was blessed to get to go to California to meet all the wonderful people at the SAA and Erica! What if I told you I was given an award for Outstanding Volunteer? What if I told you there was a big beautiful fancy dinner in our honor? What if I told you that in 1987 I tried to commit suicide? What if I told you that last night my family and I had the honor of meeting The Imagine Dragons? What if I told you I tried again to commit suicide in 2013? What if I told you I contemplated doing so this year? What if I told you that it is hard to be open and honest with all of you? What if I told you the reason I am is YOU? What if the best is yet to come? What if you reached out to someone who knows what you are going through or has been there? What if? This year during all of these amazing times of my life all I could think of was WHAT IF? Please remember THIS what if and be present today in your life, we are not all guaranteed tomorrow but what if we were?
I used to want my legacy to be the Faces of AS or my desire to be kind to others but what if my legacy was to be this… That you never truly know what tomorrow will bring and what you would have missed if you were not here.
I hope you choose to pause and stop and reflect, then rest, breathe and try again.
Life is meant to be lived and living is one day at a time…
Please remember when you are in that darkness in your life that I shared with you my story of darkness and what I would have missed if I had succeeded, I mean really what if I had!
Stay strong…
Today I am grateful for the courage it takes to speak out openly to others and the courage it takes to reach out to someone...
It wasn't a dream!
We really did go to the Imagine Dragons concert and we honestly did meet them!
It was freaking amazing!
But....
I was filled with What If's and a sense of urgency I couldn't make sense of until....
Late during the day I received a desperate call and I realized my feeling was linked to what they were going through...
This is the post I shared the same time they were saying goodbye...
This message is to you, yes you.... you know who you are. What if you stopped and paused for a moment, what if you reached out to someone, what if you decided to give tomorrow a chance? What if? What if the struggle was worth the end result? What if the best was yet to come? What if? I can't tell you how many times people tell me you have no idea, but what if I did? What if I told you that I did, what if I told you I had written that letter to my family? What if I told you I was right where you are not once but twice? What if? What if I told you I didn't have some epiphany or change of heart? What if? What if I told you I was angry and bitter because I was here? What if? What if I told you I had gotten to such a darkness that the darkness was the only light I had? What if? This year especially has been the most rewarding of my life, such a personal triumph that many can't begin to understand but you do. What if I told you I was blessed with doing an interview with Dan Reynolds for This AS Life, live. What if I told you that I was blessed to go to Las Vegas with my daughter? What if I told you I got the honor of being on the Spondylitis Plus Cover with Dan Reynolds? What if I told you I was blessed to get to go to California to meet all the wonderful people at the SAA and Erica! What if I told you I was given an award for Outstanding Volunteer? What if I told you there was a big beautiful fancy dinner in our honor? What if I told you that in 1987 I tried to commit suicide? What if I told you that last night my family and I had the honor of meeting The Imagine Dragons? What if I told you I tried again to commit suicide in 2013? What if I told you I contemplated doing so this year? What if I told you that it is hard to be open and honest with all of you? What if I told you the reason I am is YOU? What if the best is yet to come? What if you reached out to someone who knows what you are going through or has been there? What if? This year during all of these amazing times of my life all I could think of was WHAT IF? Please remember THIS what if and be present today in your life, we are not all guaranteed tomorrow but what if we were?
I used to want my legacy to be the Faces of AS or my desire to be kind to others but what if my legacy was to be this… That you never truly know what tomorrow will bring and what you would have missed if you were not here.
I hope you choose to pause and stop and reflect, then rest, breathe and try again.
Life is meant to be lived and living is one day at a time…
Please remember when you are in that darkness in your life that I shared with you my story of darkness and what I would have missed if I had succeeded, I mean really what if I had!
Stay strong…
Today I am grateful for the courage it takes to speak out openly to others and the courage it takes to reach out to someone...
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