Another Day
(As hard as everything is, I am grateful to wake up. Today I am just grateful for life itself.)
This was what I originally wrote for today's gratitude post but it's not the post that I was going to write, it's the post I ended up writing so that I could appear positive... not that it was that positive.
The truth is I am now living my life as the "living dead." Everything in my life before today has brought me to this way of living, it's just too painful to care anymore.
I keep telling myself after each loss of life, each loss of a relationship, and each loss of material things that meant something to me, oh well, all this wouldn't matter if I was dead....so deal with it.
That is where my life is at this moment, the heartache and loss of so many different people and items in my life has made it unbearable for me. I am trying so hard to move past the losses that are burdening my soul, my mind knows I should but my heart is struggling.
And in order to survive all of this, (this being so many different things) I tell myself it won't matter one bit when I am dead and gone. Not one bit...so I pretend it doesn't matter and I try to live my life with this mind-numbing thought.
The thing I am grateful for today is that I care enough to post in My Garden of Gratitude.
(As hard as everything is, I am grateful to wake up. Today I am just grateful for life itself.)
This was what I originally wrote for today's gratitude post but it's not the post that I was going to write, it's the post I ended up writing so that I could appear positive... not that it was that positive.
The truth is I am now living my life as the "living dead." Everything in my life before today has brought me to this way of living, it's just too painful to care anymore.
I keep telling myself after each loss of life, each loss of a relationship, and each loss of material things that meant something to me, oh well, all this wouldn't matter if I was dead....so deal with it.
That is where my life is at this moment, the heartache and loss of so many different people and items in my life has made it unbearable for me. I am trying so hard to move past the losses that are burdening my soul, my mind knows I should but my heart is struggling.
And in order to survive all of this, (this being so many different things) I tell myself it won't matter one bit when I am dead and gone. Not one bit...so I pretend it doesn't matter and I try to live my life with this mind-numbing thought.
The thing I am grateful for today is that I care enough to post in My Garden of Gratitude.
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