Loss and Chronic Disease ... A Few More Thoughts to Ponder
Over the years, I've heard so many people with Spondylitis talk about loss; the loss of their ability to do certain things, the loss of relationships and friendships, the loss of careers, the loss of their old selves, the loss of their ability to feel good, and the loss of their future. But I seldom hear people talk about loss as being beneficial in opening them up to new pleasures, new experiences, new careers, etc.
Do you ever think of loss as simply a refocusing or re-shifting of your priorities? A re-shuffling of Life's options which is encouraging you to grow? Perhaps what we label as "loss" is the seismic event that literally forces us into becoming the person that, in retrospect, we really should have been striving to be in the first place?
Could you ever see having AS as an opportunity to literally get out of your comfort zone and expand who you are?
Does obsessing over what we've lost, or what we're no longer able to do, blind us to the whole range of new opportunities for growth that are awaiting us?
Does lamenting the loss of who we were, impede or interfere with our construction of the new and improved person that we will become?
What does it take to choose to work on who you can be tomorrow over trying to desperately hold on to who you were yesterday?
Is it as simple as giving yourself permission to be on a different path than the one you always thought you would be on?
And are we sometimes more comfortable staying in 'remorse mode' ... that state of perpetual despair, because at least when we're there, we know who and where we are and what we're all about, rather than experiencing the uncertainty of starting down a new path? ...
It seems to me that the dynamics of this disease can be held in a lot of different ways. We can obsess about what we have lost, or we can try to embrace the empty space which that loss has created, and savor the opportunity we now have to fill it with new and enriching experiences.
What do you think?
Michael Smith / Spenser23
Over the years, I've heard so many people with Spondylitis talk about loss; the loss of their ability to do certain things, the loss of relationships and friendships, the loss of careers, the loss of their old selves, the loss of their ability to feel good, and the loss of their future. But I seldom hear people talk about loss as being beneficial in opening them up to new pleasures, new experiences, new careers, etc.
Do you ever think of loss as simply a refocusing or re-shifting of your priorities? A re-shuffling of Life's options which is encouraging you to grow? Perhaps what we label as "loss" is the seismic event that literally forces us into becoming the person that, in retrospect, we really should have been striving to be in the first place?
Could you ever see having AS as an opportunity to literally get out of your comfort zone and expand who you are?
Does obsessing over what we've lost, or what we're no longer able to do, blind us to the whole range of new opportunities for growth that are awaiting us?
Does lamenting the loss of who we were, impede or interfere with our construction of the new and improved person that we will become?
What does it take to choose to work on who you can be tomorrow over trying to desperately hold on to who you were yesterday?
Is it as simple as giving yourself permission to be on a different path than the one you always thought you would be on?
And are we sometimes more comfortable staying in 'remorse mode' ... that state of perpetual despair, because at least when we're there, we know who and where we are and what we're all about, rather than experiencing the uncertainty of starting down a new path? ...
It seems to me that the dynamics of this disease can be held in a lot of different ways. We can obsess about what we have lost, or we can try to embrace the empty space which that loss has created, and savor the opportunity we now have to fill it with new and enriching experiences.
What do you think?
Michael Smith / Spenser23
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