In the year 2002 my world changed forever, or did it?
Not really nothing had changed and everything had changed.
The Monster had a name... Everything finally made sense....I knew now the why of my life.
Why I tried to commit suicide.
Why it hurt to walk.
Why it hurt to lay down.
Why it hurt to stand.
Why it hurt to sit.
Why it hurt to exist.
The why was Ankylosing Spondylitis.
With those two words I thought now I can get better.
With those two words I thought now I can fight.
With those two words I can make my life easier.
With those two words NOTHING changed.
The knowing what was wrong with me was almost as useless.
Knowing the why changed nothing!
Because doctors still don't why, how or what I need to treat me.
Because people still do not believe me when I tell them how I feel/
Because I will never get better.
Because I will always have to fight my body, society, and life.
Because my life will never get easier.
Because I still think of suicide.
Not really nothing had changed and everything had changed.
The Monster had a name... Everything finally made sense....I knew now the why of my life.
Why I tried to commit suicide.
Why it hurt to walk.
Why it hurt to lay down.
Why it hurt to stand.
Why it hurt to sit.
Why it hurt to exist.
The why was Ankylosing Spondylitis.
With those two words I thought now I can get better.
With those two words I thought now I can fight.
With those two words I can make my life easier.
With those two words NOTHING changed.
The knowing what was wrong with me was almost as useless.
Knowing the why changed nothing!
Because doctors still don't why, how or what I need to treat me.
Because people still do not believe me when I tell them how I feel/
Because I will never get better.
Because I will always have to fight my body, society, and life.
Because my life will never get easier.
Because I still think of suicide.
The only thing that truly changed is now I can say
to myself
to the world
out loud
on paper
Cookie
Has
Ankylosing Spondylitis
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