Ankylosing Spondylitis has taken so much from me, the one thing that it has robbed from me that hurts the most is the simple act of kissing someone goodbye. Over the years when I am saying goodbye to a loved one I always kiss them before the coffin is closed. Many people do not understand that or are fearful of touching a person that is deceased. They are still the same person you loved no matter what. When my mother passed away in 1999 I struggled with being able to kiss her, my AS was in the final stages of fusing my spine and making it difficult to bend. Thankfully I was able to kiss her goodbye after the service. My mother in law passed away in 2004 and was the first person I loved that I was not able to kiss goodbye at her funeral. I was at her home when she took her last breath and kissed her goodbye before she was taken away.
When my father passed away at home in 2006 I was able to kiss him then, but it isn’t the same as kissing them moments before you say goodbye for eternity. I was standing beside my father’s casket lost in my pain when I noticed my sister beside me. We stood silently together trying to comfort each other the best way we could. She bent down and kissed him on the lips whispering I love you, Daddy. She looked over at me with tears in her eyes and whispered to me are you going to kiss him? I had tears streaming down my face and could barely speak, my pain and loss were so great. My husband had lovingly reassured me earlier that day he would pick me up and help me kiss my father goodbye.
I know that he would have made that happen no matter what it took. I told Brenda that I wasn’t able to bend down to kiss him and began to cry. In the purest act of love, she bent down and kissed my father on the lips and then turned to me and kissed me on the lips and then returned that kiss to my father. My heart was filled with gratitude, for her act of love and compassion toward me. It was a gift of love that I will forever treasure.
When my father passed away at home in 2006 I was able to kiss him then, but it isn’t the same as kissing them moments before you say goodbye for eternity. I was standing beside my father’s casket lost in my pain when I noticed my sister beside me. We stood silently together trying to comfort each other the best way we could. She bent down and kissed him on the lips whispering I love you, Daddy. She looked over at me with tears in her eyes and whispered to me are you going to kiss him? I had tears streaming down my face and could barely speak, my pain and loss were so great. My husband had lovingly reassured me earlier that day he would pick me up and help me kiss my father goodbye.
I know that he would have made that happen no matter what it took. I told Brenda that I wasn’t able to bend down to kiss him and began to cry. In the purest act of love, she bent down and kissed my father on the lips and then turned to me and kissed me on the lips and then returned that kiss to my father. My heart was filled with gratitude, for her act of love and compassion toward me. It was a gift of love that I will forever treasure.
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